In these moments

In these moments, when the past is overwhelming
In these moments, when there’s nothing but the scream
Of your soul, reapeating it: “I’m sorry”
when regret is drowning, no hope of a dream

In these moments it comes back with force and passion
In these moments when it mocks your good intent
In the outcome lie the demons of your sin
In the outcome echoes fear of failing once again

In these moments there’s no feeling in your heart to save you
No messiah, you can not command the storm to just be still
Just a human, but when the heart fails there can remain the will
When it is not feeling then it must be knowing that will guide you through

When the demons mock what I’ve become
Say that all I do will never matter
Grain of sand in storm, or drop in ocean, will you choose the latter?
I say: “None of the above”
I choose to be
One of the rays
Rays of the sun

For without the rays there is no light
And without the rays there is no warmth
And without each one there is no life
This is what I live for, every day
I can fall and stray
But I can never be defeated
As long as this is my chosen path
As long as this is my way

Crush me, mock me, make me drown in shadows
Of the past, but I still know
That my hands can make a star
That I can join the light that’s shining near and far

For where do you find compassion?
And where do you still find love?
Everywhere, open your eyes
There is light for you to see
Light in you, and light in me
And I strive to grasp the ray
That shines from every man and woman
Even if the darkness drowns us
Our worst overshadows trust
There is the gift that we can
Make a star, for open eyes to see
Light in you, and light in me

Light I join, mine’s not the eye that can see nought but shadows
Mine’s the eye that seeks the light
Mine’s the heart that lives to fight
So that when I lay me down
I sleep in peace, for mine’s a crown
Forged by the good things that I’ve done
Warming like the brightest sun

In these moments, when the night will come
The demons know that they can drag you down
But they can not take your crown
For your light is born within
For you are the only king
That in your besieged soul can reign
Will to forge new light again
Brings you through the storm

In these moments

Why?

There’s a question that drives my heart
To search for some place where I can make a start
To do something useful, to do something beautiful
Be it reason and logic or feeling and art

There’s a why that makes me try
To find an answer, but the answer is nowhere
In exterior, it is myself
That has known all along, how to sing my heart’s song

To be read is the bread of the poet
To be liked is the soul of the song
I remember this feeling, so beautiful and strong
And I want to have it again

And I want to give it again
To make people feel that their art’s not in vain
That someone finds beauty in word and in song
That they touched a heart, and that touch made it strong

I work for the useful, but live for the beauty
And what on this earth is more beautiful?
Than a heart that you made rejoice with your actions
Than a soul that feels stronger because of what you did?

That is the answer, that is my why
I will live for the beauty, and I will try
To find, praise, make beauty, for that is my song

It’s what will make my yearning soul whole and strong

The song of a demon

After the great battle was over
What in those stories they do not tell
Is that nothing was truly over
For this demon, condemned to hell

“You shall not seek power!”, oh what does he know
About how it is to dwell in the shadow
Loving indeed! banned for one mistake
The love shown to a witch on a stake

Do you think I wanted this?
Do you think I yearned?
For the flames and fire of hell?
Is this truly what I’ve earned?

Have you never stumbled, my listener
And did you never fall?
How do you proclaim me, piously
To be the foe of all?

For you there is a heaven
A land your master has made
For you he has forgiveness
For me he has only a blade

Am I not alive, do I not long?
For peace and prosperity of my own?
I lurk in the shadows and do what is wrong
And the pitiful sound that you hear in the night

Is a demon’s lament, is a demon’s song

The God of Mist

All wanders

All wanders

From the beginning of time

Every word, life, love and every rhyme

To the end of time

All wanders into ruin

 

Not even darkness is eternal

And every light is an inferno

Of life and song

Of grains that are sown

Into the wind

And we so wish

We could grow forever

 

But all wanders

 

If everything fades that life creates

What is the point and where is the reason?

True love, broken faith, loyalty, treason

Whither and die

So tell me why

 

Why are we here?

 

Because everything wanders

And in every footstep blossoms a flower

A joy to behold

In every moment the journey is found

Because all wanders

And paths cross

Making moments of peace and of love

 

Each breath is light

Shining upon us from above

It’s the rhyme, it’s the reason

 
And it is enough

Through the Rain

Through the rain, through the flame
I learned something about myself
There’s a book now on my shelf
And it tells me of my life

All I hoped, all I strived
Clouded by dishonesty
Knowing yourself is a gift
It’s the truth that makes you free

Music, stories, all by mind made
The unreal is my domain
It’s the fire, it’s the flame
That can fuel me every day

To get up now with a smile
Cause the day holds life ahead
All my doubts and all I dread
Vanish into voids unseen

It’s the new day, it’s the gleam
In the eye of sun itself
There’s a book now on my shelf
And it lets me see it clearly

What my life was, what it is
Most of all what it can be
Break the slumber, wake in me
All the things that I can make

No one knows what is ahead
The future is an unknown stream
Meet it headlong, swim within
Hide not from the coldest water

It brings life, and life ahead
makes you wake up with a smile
All the doubts and all you dread
Won’t be gone, but will be less

Of a burden if you know
What it is that makes your heart beat
Know yourself and you can sow
Purest Life, so others wake up

With a smile, community
Is the deepest joy of man
Sharing what you make creates it
I look back, where it began

Is when I created again
Woke the deepest joy of a man

Of that man that is now me

MuseScore Beauty: The tale begins (The Final Law song 1)

This is one of my own songs from a concept album, so the post has a different format than the other posts in the series. Originally written as a concept album for a metal band, I decided to turn the songs of “The Final Law” into songs for voice, piano, organ and bass. The main reason is that I like the sound of that combination of instruments in MuseScore a lot.

Story: The song is the first of several songs which tell a story about earth being abandoned by the ruling elite. The story then describes the rise and downfall of the ruling elite when they meet an alien civilization and abuse them for their own purposes. Which are to gain power.

In “The tale begins” the people left on earth set the stage for the tale to be told. “They walked on flowers into the night” refers to the ruling elite fleeing to the stars. “We walked on corpses into the light” refers to the successful rebellion of the lower classes on earth. “Two empires will rise above, one of love, one of fear, they spread their twilight”. On earth an empire of love, guided by the final law, is build, while in the stars an empire of fear will rise. An empire which is build by deception (“their twilight”).

Music: The Organ and voice (flute in the score) together with the bass make a slow beginning, which then turns into the faster tempo which dominates the song. There is a returning musical theme, a passage which is played multiple times, but it doesn’t comprise the whole song. In fact the song is comprised of two returning passages and two passages which are just played at one point in the song. I like how that gives the song some balance between being interesting and having recognizable elements. The song is supposed to set the stage for the rest of the album, as an opener, and I think it fits that role well.

Of course I am curious to know what you think of the concept and of the song. Every comment is appreciated!

Link: https://musescore.com/user/24161916/scores/5104173

MuseScore Beauty: Saria’s Song

In the series MuseScore Beauty I write about beautiful songs written with the free notation software MuseScore, either songs of others or of myself. In this post I want to take a closer look at Elliot Andrew’s “Saria’s Song”.

Mood and Images: Saria’s song is based on a beautiful theme which the composer varies a lot throughout the song. It creates a wonderfully mystic, fantasy-like atmosphere. Think Elven music in Lord of the Rings, a little more lively and for kids. It makes me think of the heroine in an undefined fairy tale, with her climbing around in a fantasy forest. It could easily also be the soundtrack for a fantasy game.

Instruments of the song: piano, Cello, Flute, Ocarina, Tambourine and Violoncello.

Musical characteristics: The theme itself is characterized by a “from valley to mountain peak to valley” like movement, like the first half of a sine curve. Tempo wise it varies between slow and medium fast, lively tempo. One strength of the music is that it constantly builds through variation: a) which instrument plays the theme, b) the accompaniement of the theme constantly changes.

I recommend this score to everyone who likes fantasy/fairy tale or generally beautiful, relaxing music. The piece focuses on the main theme, so it is a bit repetitive, but the variations more than make up for that.

Link: https://musescore.com/user/28669728/scores/5096443

Beautiful Beginning

No sun shines

it’s quite a rainy day

Chilly, but mild

it’s quite a time to find a new way

 

Rays in my heart, aimless for far too long

the rays they fight against the doubt and fear

I want to belong

To something that’s productive

Endless consumption, so seductive

Can not fill my heart, not ever

Only doing, creative and useful,

Is a worthy endeavour

 

So I try to make, on this quite rainy day

With nervousness, and even fear to stray

a new path, a new way

 

Where it will lead I do not know

For fate’s wheel is always spinning

Time will tell, if my deeds will make

 

A beautiful beginning

The castle

Once I was trapped
Betrayed by my mind
Strapped
To a bed of iron
That felt
Like the softest touch
Lightrays
In my mind, too much
To cope with

The castle

I wandered
through the most wonderful dreams
streams
of poetry
of peace and of serenity
retreat from pain
from the “in vain”
of my struggles

my mind inside the castle

The doors where closed
and when the outside spoke a word
the greatness of my feelings, drowned like a bleeting herd
the words of advice
forced to stay
by beauty
serenity
love for everything I see

Inside the castle I felt fire so hot that I got burned
without noticing, and not noticing the pain
meant I enjoyed, like nothing never I did before

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
The best inside
The worst when I was forced to come out
To look at the ruin that I made

Such fear, such guilt, such pain
such trembling and such stain
never
never again

but oh how much I long
cause sometimes everything seems pale
from such heights fallen
like having had the holy grail

and now drinking from a normal cup

But never, never again
The price, it is too high
Too fast it’s over, too fast draws near
The guilt, the shame, the fear
My mind in shadows ever since the castle broke around me
Crumbled to dust
what remains is love earned in the past

It carries me, without it I’d be dead
In such times, people who love you’s all you have

I walked the sunlit fields
My mind remains in shadow
The light crawls slowly in
But the way still is long

Seduction
I will not fall
no road leads me back to what I was
No matter the cost
I will never raise it again

The castle